it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
