Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
