i think i have two assholes
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
