you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Is it because I queefed?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
