hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
