we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
