The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
