dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
