love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
