i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
