Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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