Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize