whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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