How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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