My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
