I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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