You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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