Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
