weddingsv make me drug and hornr
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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