Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
