Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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