and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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