When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
