Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
