Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
