sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
