I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
