Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
