I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
