Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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