Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
