i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
