Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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