you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
