Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize