i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
