I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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