The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Randomize