if you like me you must not know who I am
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
