turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My vagina is very pro this idea
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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