How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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