So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
