We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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