I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize