it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
