please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
