the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
