hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
