ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
do herpes really smell.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
