i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
