i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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