elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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