Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
